![]() Sam says he’s had “a bit of a search” to find orc-clothing that fits hobbits. You walked kinda hunched over, you know?” You gotta admit, you've lost a lot of weight.” Let's forget for a moment that it's a rag, but it happens to be 12 sizes too large.” “This garment cannot possibly be a part of my wardrobe. ".that willing suspension of disbelief for the moment, which constitutes poetic faith." Whenever Legolas is on screen continually mumble "Damn she's fine."Īt Gandalf's huge entrance to the Helms Deep battle sing "The hills are alive with the sound of music." The higher pitched the better.Tolkien Topics: Reading Room: ".that willing suspension of disbelief for the moment, which constitutes poetic faith.": ![]() When the ring is destoryed shout out "OHhhhh. Whenever there is a wide shot of elves shout "Santa's gonna get middle earth on your ass!"Įvery time an orc passes the screen nudge a stranger next to you and whisper "Done her."įor every shot of Legolas and Gimli together shout out an appropriate Jay and Silent Bob quote. Yell out "Where's the hell is the pirate ship? This remake of the Goonies is retarded."Įvery time someone mentions the horrors of the ring yell out "I got yer ring right HERE" and grasp yourself accordingly. That's weak sauce G-man."Įvery time you see any form of Sauron on screen yell out "It's Gandalf! HEY MAN I went to highschool with you! How about we *Gandalf makes some magic*. "This is a big day for me, first I was promoted to the front of the charge, and my wife is pregnant. "I swear that mountain troll checked me out. When Shelob comes on, exclaim, "Man! Charlotte's really let herself go!" When Sam holds Frodo's hand (or otherwise), start singing, "The Ambiguously Gay Duo!" Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene. Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like. When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for tense moment and shout, "I see dead people!" Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.Ĭome to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused. In The Two Towers when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"Įvery time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!"(See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.)ĭuring a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?" ![]() ![]() When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"Īsk people around you who they think is the next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck.ĭress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs. MY way.!"Īt the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring."Īsk the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts, and if so, what house do you think he was in.įinish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. where the hell is Harry Potter?"īlock the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"Īfter the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."Īt some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen.Īfter bouncing off, return quietly to your seat. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait. ![]()
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